Left Behind
by Unspoken Tragedy
Summary: After being caught and tortured for being a spy, Severus wakes to realize he’s been in a coma for the past five years. Now he has to learn to cope with mourning, moving on, and a greatly changed wizarding world.
1. I Woke Up and the World Was Gone

**Title: Left Behind**

**Author: Unspoken Tragedy**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Spoilers: All five books**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Severus Snape. Be grateful for that, 'cause if I did... I wouldn't share. ;) **

**Summery: After being caught and tortured for being a spy, Severus wakes to realize he's been in a coma for the past five years. Now he has to learn to cope with mourning, moving on, and a greatly changed wizarding world.**

**Series: None yet.**

**A/N: OK, this is my last new story for a while, I swear! I have enough to work on as it is. I'll be updating my other stories as soon as humanly possible, I promise!!!**

**-.-**

**Left Behind**

**Prologue: I Woke Up and the World Was Gone...**

"_All said and done I stand alone_

_Amongst remains of a life I should not own_

_It takes all I am to believe_

_In the Mercy that covers me."_

-Jars of Clay "Worlds Apart"

-.-

Severus Snape, Death Eater spy and Order of the Phoenix member, stood silently among the inner circle of Voldemort's Death Eaters, listening to them finishing their reports. He'd already given his earlier, so he really hadn't expected to be called forward again. But as he'd come to learn throughout the long years of his existence, things rarely happen as one expects them to. They usually turn out far worse.

"_Severusss."_ Voldemort hissed.

He stepped forward and bowed low to the ground in front of the dark lord. "Yes, Master?"

"Did you think that you could hide this from me?" _Uh, oh._

"I am hiding nothing, Master."

"Nothing at all?" Voldemort drawled, smiling in a decidedly pleased manner. Severus could not say that he particularly liked that look, as it was quite the contrary.

"_Nothing_." He bowed his head lower to the ground to show his sincerity, knowing that looking up at the Dark Lord at a moment like this could be the difference between life and death. And he wasn't feeling particularly suicidal at the moment, so he kept his head down.

"Ah. Then there must be a perfectly _logical_ explanation as to why you are _reporting_ to _Dumbledore_ our, or rather _my_ actions. I've known you've been sabotaging raids for _quite_ some time now." 'Oh _have_ you now?' Severus thought sarcastically though he didn't dare speak the words out loud, 'That must be why you sent me on so many.'

"_Master_, I have done _no such thing_."

"When my _faithful_ servant Wormtail told me that you had been _spying_ for Dumbledore... I was shocked Severus, _appalled. You would never betray your own_, I thought. But when Umbridge _revealed_ that _you_ had given her useless water instead of _Veritiserum_ to feed Potter and that only _you_ had known that he was going to the ministry that night, and therefore only _you_ could have warned the _order_... I could no longer deny the _truth_. You have _betrayed_ us, Severus. You're a _traitor_," Voldemort spat out the word as if it just saying it gave him a bad taste in his mouth. "_Consequently_ you will receive the fate of a _traitor_. _Crucio._" Severus crumpled to the ground in pain. Voldemort held the curse for several, excruciating moments.

Severus endured that curse two more times, each in silence, before Voldemort passed him off to his Death Eaters. This was going to be a _long _night. And most likely his last. Strange how that thought was almost comforting. After a year of being a spy, he had finally been caught. He was not really all too surprised with this fact, just that he had survived this long.

The past year had been tough, to say the least. Sleep had been fleeting, eating rare. Between Order and Death Eater meetings and teaching he'd had little time to himself. Often returning to Hogwarts after a meeting with Voldemort half-dead, Severus truthfully could not say that he was all that sorry for the situation he was in. At least after this particular torture session he would be given the release of death.

He only wished he could have done _more._ As he was kicked, cursed and beaten by his comrades of old, the one regret he had was that he'd been caught before having the chance to do more than what he'd done. Well, the one regret that _didn't_ have anything to do with his sordid past.

He felt bones break, muscles and skin tear, and his nerves burned from the _Cruciatus_, but he would not scream. To his last he would keep silent. He would _not_ beg for mercy; even if he did, there was no mercy to be had for a traitor of Voldemort's cause.

Suddenly the torture stopped. Severus felt his head lift from the wet soil as Voldemort's face came into focus. "Severus, you have a choice. Tell me who belongs to the Order of the Phoenix and I will let you live." 'LIAR!' Severus's mind screamed.

He glared at the reptilian face before him. "Never," he whispered his voice not able to make any more sound. Red eyes locked with his own and he felt Voldemort's efforts against his mind. All those efforts, however, were in vain. Voldemort could not break through his mind's defenses, none could. Not even Dumbledore could break through that wall he'd constructed, had he tried.

Angry for his failure to glean any information from this, Voldemort motioned for his minions to continue. And so they did. Time became a blur as hours bled together in a haze of pain, coldness, defeat and sorrow. Each time he'd fallen unconscious, moments later (or was that hours?) he would be awoken and the pain would begin again. He could no longer recognize his surroundings, he could still be on that hill where the meeting had begun, or he could be somewhere else. All he knew was the pain.

Until... It stopped. He no longer felt a thing. Just peace.

Was he dead? Where was he? Everything was so dark. There was no sound, no sign of any other life here. Was he in Hell? No that didn't make sense. Hell would be _a lot_ worse than this nothingness.

Here there was no pain, no sorrow and no memories of the past he hated. Here he just _was_. He wasn't a killer, a traitor, a spy or even a professor. He was just Severus Snape, alone in a dark place of nothingness that was far better than the reality he'd escaped. And he had no intention of leaving anytime soon.

-.-

_Five Years Later..._

Severus woke up groggily, feeling simultaneously tired and alert. 'How long have I been here?' he thought remembering the meeting with Voldemort and realizing that nothing hurt.

He looked over his surroundings. The walls were sparkling white as were the floors, giving the room a sterile look to it. There were two oak doors on either side of the room. 'A bathroom and an exit,' he guessed. A large open window to his left was blowing a light breeze into the small room. A few pictures of daisies and violets adorned the walls along with several white dome-covered candles, and to the right of his bed was a small end table with a vase of fresh flowers. Where was he? This wasn't the Hogwarts hospital wing... "Albus? Poppy?" he called weakly his voice gruff with disuse.

"Ah, Dear! You're awake!" cried a cheerful old woman's voice, as a nurse stepped into the room. She made towards his bed and smiled at him in a motherly way. "I'm Matilda Longshore, your nurse. We've been waiting for quite some time for you to wake, dear boy."

Severus made a move to sit up, but found the strain on his muscles to be too tiring. "Where am I?" he asked instead.

"You're at St. Mungos, Madame Pomfrey and Headmaster Dumbledore had wanted you to stay at Hogwarts, but after a while realized St. Mungos was the place where you'd get the best care..." she trailed off as if it was too painful to continue.

"How long have I been here?" he asked the question he dreaded the most. There was a war going on, and as useless as he was for spying now, he knew that the real fighting would begin soon. He was _needed_ there.

Matilda looked suddenly very sad. "Five years."

He let out a strangled gasp. _Five years?_ How much had he missed while he was in this deep slumber? Was the war over? Who survived it?

As if noticing his distress, she added, "Now that you're awake we'll begin to work your muscles back into shape. Only by a strong holding spell and weekly supplements were we able to keep them from atrophying. But you'll be up and about in no time. And once you are able to function normally, you'll be home free!"

"What have I missed?" he asked softly.

"Oh, dear, don't you worry about _that _just yet," Matilda replied as she left the room.

'_Five years_, I've been sleeping _five years_.' Severus felt loneliness so strong that it was almost unbearable. Here he was, the same man he'd been five years ago, while the outside world had changed. _His_ world had left him behind, caught in a past which no longer existed.

For the first time since he was a small child, he wanted to pull the covers over his head, close his eyes and hide from the world. He knew this was irrational, and therefore did not do such a thing, but nevertheless he _wanted to_.

-.-

**TBC...**

**A/N: Aww... Poor Sevvie. I know I'm too cruel to him. :) A review would be nice... -hint-hint- **

**Oh and for the record: if the torture scene seemed a little too rushed, I'm sorry. I didn't want to go into too much detail, because his torture actually plays only a very small part in the grand scheme of things. The injury which caused his coma will be explained in the near future. **


	2. Darker Days Ahead, Lighter Ones Behind

**A/N: It's been a while since I last posted, sorry. I have had a terrible past month... For info on updates on my other stories and just me in personal check out my journal:**

**http:www(dot)livejournal(dot)com/users/job(underscore)12(underscore)3/**

**Replace (dot) with the actual period & (underscore) with the actual thing also.**

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**Chapter One: Darker Days Ahead, Lighter Ones Behind**

_"I used to do okay on my own,_

_Think I was made of stone_

_And I could carry a heavy load._

_Never thought that one day I would be alone,_

_And then the road got long._

_I saw I was wrong,_

_And had no one to lean upon."___

_ -PFR, "You Lord"_

-.-

Severus's eyes slowly opened, bright sunlight flooding his vision. White walls gleamed mockingly down at him, shattering any hope that the past day- or had it been longer? - was just a dream.

"Severus." He started at the sound of his name being spoken. He slowly turned his head to the voice, his muscles screaming angrily at being moved after so long.

Minerva McGonagall. She looked so much older now, as if more than five years had passed in the time he had been asleep. Perhaps for her it had. "Minerva."

Her eyes shone with tears and her lips turned into a smile that looked oddly out of place on the woman's face. "We were so afraid... We thought you'd never awaken. If only Albus were here to see-"she cut off sharply.

"_Where_ exactly _is_ Albus?" Severus asked quickly, noticing that things weren't quite what they should be.

The old woman sighed softly, the smile falling from her face. "Albus Dumbledore is dead." He voice was flat and emotionless, and her face looking almost cold, a striking difference from the Minerva he'd known. "He died two years ago in an attack at Hogwarts."

_Albus?__ Dead?_ The words seemed strange when place together in the same sentence. Childishly, Severus had always expected the old man to outlive him. It was unthinkable to think that his mentor could possibly die. And yet, that was just what had happened.

He died two years ago... But for Severus, those two years had literally passed in the blink of an eye while he lay blissfully unaware of the world around him... And Albus was dead. The words sounded so flat within his mind.

Had he been a weaker man, (or perhaps that'd be stronger?) he would have cried. He _felt_ like crying. But he would not.

Minerva looked so calm about it all. It was strange to him, that calm acceptance in light of such a horrible event. But then he realized that she had already had two years to accept that which he'd heard of only moments ago. The thought only served to sadden him even more. What more had he missed?

"Hogwarts..." His voice almost wavered. "Who's running Hogwarts?"

Minerva's lips wrinkled into a wry smile. "No one is. After Albus's death, Hogwarts sealed herself up, presumably waiting for the return of her master. None have been allowed to pass her gates."

"But-"

"After the death of her current master, we believe she took it upon herself to choose a new one, perhaps the one who Albus saw as his heir. But there is no way of telling whom that might be, since his will is trapped within the Hogwarts' walls.

"But that is not why I came here today."

"And here I was thinking you came on a social call," Severus sneered slightly.

The old woman gave him a fond look. "There is little time now for social calls, my child. We are now embroiled in war. Yes, the same war to which you left." She sighed heavily as if unsure of where to begin. "After you slipped into your coma, the fighting steadily rose, both sides cutting losses. It reached its full scale around in October of 2001, after the Dementors swore allegiance to the Dark Lord's forces. Soon after, St. Mungos was closed to the public and relocated, to where it resides now. St. Mungos is now a safe haven for the Order and allies of the light.

"The world has changed much since you were last aware of it. The ministry has been destroyed and put to ruins. The wizarding world in England has been divided into two factions. There is the Dark and the Light, much as how you left it. But now that is all there is here. Business has been shut down, children and the elderly relocated. We fight and we train and we do no else."

"You would ask me to join you." He searched her face for some sign of familiarity, but the traces of Professor Minerva McGonagall were few. He was with a different person now.

She did not smile. "I fear you have little choice in the matter, Severus."

"What do you mean I 'have _little choice_'? Surely you do not mean to tell me that I am being forced to fight at your side? I nearly died for your side! Is that not _enough_?" He hissed, glaring at her.

"Do you even care for those who have died for you? Who _are_ dieing for you?" Her face had gone cold and her eyes glittered coldly as she spoke in her fervor.

He turned away from her, his anger all but drained away. "I'm not ready for this, Minerva."

"The war will not wait for you. It is here now. You _must_ fight."

-.-

A couple of days after awakening, Severus began physical therapy. His muscles were massaged, stretched and cajoled into moving far more than they had for the past half-decade.

It was Hell. If he didn't know any better, he'd say that these healers had learned their trade from Voldemort himself.

Aside from the "torture sessions", as he so-affectionately called them his days were rather uneventful. In correspondence with the Order, he was caught up to the events leading to this day, and of course, of those who were no longer with them.

So much had changed. Places that he had once been wont to frequent were no longer in existence, people he had been acquaintances with, had died or fled the country. Many of his students had run to Voldemort. That's what hit him the hardest, he supposed; the fact that the chance to save his children had been torn away.

He had gotten so far with them in the past several years- the several years before his coma that is. Had those five years not been stolen from him, would they have joined the Light? Or were they too lost to be saved?

As the days wore on, his strength returned and so did his resolve to fight. With each death he learned of, every Slytherin that had defected, he knew that he must finish the war (metaphorically speaking of course) he had started so long ago. Maybe after this, he would find redemption; maybe there was none to be found.

Nevertheless he had to get up and join the battle, fight as others had done before him and as more would after him. It was not as if he had anything more to lose anyways.

Only mere weeks after he had begun his rehabilitation, he was once again his normal, flowing-robed, snarky, potion-making self. He was now making potions by the dozen, restocking medical cabinets that had long been dwindling in supplies for a lack of a potions master.

He would be leaving the safe haven soon, and he could not be any happier for that fact than he already was. Yet, he was slightly worried about what would come after that. Where would he go? Was his house even still standing? What would the world outside be like now, after being ravaged by war?

His mind ran around in circles trying to reconcile his memories of the world to the reality that had been set before. All answers led to more questions and he felt as if he would never reach the full truth of things.

In many ways he wondered if he were truly ready for all this change. Some days he wished nothing more but to fall back into that coma and let the Light deal with this without him. They all hated him anyhow, even knowing all that he did for them. Why should he fight for a people that loathed him?

It was a wonder, the situation he found himself in. He had betrayed his friends to do what was right, and joined a side that wanted nothing more than for him to have been one of those casualties in this war.

But that was the way it had always been with them. And that was the way that it would remain. He would fight and receive no glory. Give and receive no reward. In their eyes he was a villain, no matter how much he tried to be anything else.

And in many ways Severus Snape was one.

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**TBC....**

**A/N: Sorry guys, this was rather short... The next chapter should be out soon though....**

** This took a rather different turn than what I had originally planned. I like this twist a bit better, especially since I haven't seen anyone else who's written something like this. Oh yes, and I _intentionally_ left out exactly _what_ our dear Sev learned through the Order and who died, things will be explained later on. **

** Don't forget to review and tell me what you think!!!**

**-.-**

**Reviewer Responses:**

**Darkaus****- Thanks****! Yes, poor Sev... I really am too cruel to the poor boy...**

**Vaughn- Thanks! Sorry for the long wait...**

**Judy- Thank you.**** Well there's your answer right there (points to chapter above).**

**Catmint- Thank you. I'll be sure to edit the "e" off Madam Pomfrey's name. Thank you for pointing that out for me.**

**Erin- Yes, I _love_ "World's Apart". Jars of Clay is my favorite group ever!!**

**Lauren- Here's the continuation... Sorry it's not so soon. **

**Bluebird161221- Heh.**** Sorry it took so long.**

**Anonym- Thank you.... Sorry you had to wait so long.**

**excessivelyperky****- Thanks****. Er... This doesn't really count as soon does it?**

**mikomi****-**** Thank you. It's updated. :).. Just not very soon, I'm afraid. Thanks, I will try to use it more... **

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	3. Welcome to the Future

**A/N: Another long wait... sorry. I am trying to manage my time better, I assure you. My hugest thanks to those that have reviewed and those who are keeping with this story! I LOVE YOU ALL:D**

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"_Novus ordo seclorum."_

"A new order of the ages is born."

-Inscription on the reverse of the great seal of the USA.

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**Chapter Three: Welcome to the Future**

There was something very heartening about finally being allowed out of the hospital, Severus realized as he buttoned his white shirt. He'd been forced to 'live' in this room for some weeks now and it was relieving to be able to sleep in his own room for once. Yes, as soon as he got to his summer home...

An insistent knocking interrupted his thoughts and Severus turned to see who would be bothering him at a time like this. "Professor," a startlingly familiar voice rang out from the doorway. In the now open door stood, much to his chagrin, the very familiar face that accompanied that voice.

"Potter," his voice came out as a hiss. Of course. He should have guessed. No torture could ever be complete without the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Annoy-Him. Severus wondered if this hospital happened to have a mental ward. He might soon find himself in dire need of one.

Potter didn't speak for a moment, simply staring at the man before him. Severus felt more than just a bit uncomfortable under the other's scrutiny, suddenly self-conscious at the changes he'd undergone since he was last aware of himself. Long ebony hair fell down his back- and to his irritation, across his face. His body was thinner than it had ever been, but was slowly gaining back muscle-tone. White skin glowed under the too bright lights that filled the room. Severus figured, though, that the perhaps most startling thing for the boy was that he wasn't wearing his robes. He always did look less menacing without them.

Potter had not been without change, himself. In fact, the boy looked much like a sheered sheep to his old professor, seeing him without the messy black hair for the first time. His hair was rather short now, the strands spiking up, allowing his scar to seen by all. He no longer wore the thick glasses that had characterized him his entire life; in fact, he didn't wear glasses now at all.

Potter moved towards Severus, his eyes darting to the bed table to his right. Severus almost stepped back, the other's silence worrying him, but decided against it. It would not do to look so cowardly in front of one of his old students. "Mr. Potter, would there be-"

His question was cut off by the projectile launched at his head by the dark haired boy. Severus threw his body forward, rolling to land in a crouch beside his bed. The lamp shattered against the back wall. "What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" he snapped.

Potter smiled and he couldn't help but wonder if five years were enough to cause the boy wonder to lose all vestiges of his sanity. "Very good," he appraised Severus, "I see we won't have too much work training you."

Severus regained his footing to stare at his old pupil in a bewilderment that was carefully disguised as a glare. "What is the meaning of all this?"

Potter chuckled. "Welcome to the European Infantry of Magical Allies, Severus Snape." He held out his hand and the older man realized that time had changed more than just the boy's looks. It had changed _Harry Potter _also. He had finally grown up.

Severus didn't like Potter. He never had and probably never would. But hating his own ally would be folly, when few of his friends still lived. He shook the proffered hand. He could work with this boy- no, man- and would as long as it was necessary. War called for it, after all.

"If you'd please come with me," Potter said gesturing to the door. Severus grabbed his wand and followed the other, down the halls and into a large lounge. Potter stopped to stand in front of a large portrait of Merlin. "_Tempus Fugit_." The painting swung forward and the pair entered a dark room very much unlike what Severus would have imagined for their destination. Rows of shelves lined the walls containing healing salves, potions and other such equipment necessary for any hospital. "The password is only one of many securities we have in place here. This room is another."

"But why? What is this all protecting?"

"You will soon see. It cannot be spoken of here." The man crossed the room to face a blank wall. "Come," he beckoned, holding his wand out to the wall and gestured for Severus to do the same. "_Lumos,"_ he whispered. Severus echoed the spell.

Two small patches of light illuminated the wall, and then seemed to be swallowed by it. He glanced between his wand and the wall, but the tiny flame glowing at the end of his wand no longer had any effect on the wall at all. The other made no attempt to explain the oddity to him, merely stood there, waiting for something to happen.

And something did. The wall began emitting a purple glow which slowly focused itself into a ball of swirling energy. The wall melted before his eyes as the energy slammed into him, throwing him back into one of the shelves. Before the contents fell upon him Severus could help but notice how calmly Potter was, just watching the events unfold before him.

He'd been played for a fool. Potter had led him into a trap. Anger radiated from his chest as everything became clear to him. He would _kill_ that man- but first he needed to take care of the danger before him. Shattered fragments of glass fell around him in slow motion, and the shelf swayed forward slightly, threatening to topple.

It was only then that he realized his wand hand been knocked from his hand in his fall. His fury grew upon seeing that he was nearly helpless. _Well he wasn't about to let Potter get the best of him._

He blinked as the glass ricocheted off an invisible barrier a foot from his body. In his frustration he must have thrown up a shield to protect himself. _"Accio wand,"_ he called, jumping to his feet. It flew into his outstretched hand and he turned it to point at the younger wizard's chest.

Potter made no move to grab his own wand. "Are you _trying _to kill me?" Severus hissed at him.

The man shrugged. "I deserve that," he said. "But let me explain."

"Explain what? Why you've attacked me twice today! Because that's the only explanation I want from you!" His breath came out in little pants, overexertion and anger leaving him winded. Still he faced his one time student confidently, as if there was no doubt in his mind that he would win any skirmish between the two.

"Please follow me." He stepped through the opening that had melted into the wall only moments before. Severus knew he had no choice but to go after him. Even if the wizard was his foe it would only be to his advantage to keep the other within eyeshot. As the door rematerialized behind them, Potter began to speak. "To get into the complex there is a series of security checkpoints that one must pass. The portrait was the first, as you well know, but the wall was the second. Of course I'm using the word 'wall' loosely here, for one does not actually exist there." Severus raised an eyebrow at him. "No one outside of the complex could know that though, as it very much does seem as if one were there. It feels like one and looks no different from the others in the room, but it's merely a barrier. Created of pure magic, it recognizes those allowed on the premises and lets them in."

"What does this have to do with me?"

"Well, you see, the opening is triggered by the magical signatures of any who are permitted access," Potter started.

"And it didn't recognize my magical signature, so it attacked me."

"Sort of, but not quite. The door opens only for the signatures that are actually a part of that door. In essence, if your magic is not part of that which keeps the barrier standing, then you are not allowed in."

Suddenly he understood. "And when I threw up the barrier to protect myself, a part of my magic incorporated itself into the barrier."

"Exactly. If I hadn't been there, then nothing would have happened even if you attempted access. The barrier would have simply remained a wall." The man smiled, looking pleased that Severus was so quick on the uptake.

Severus followed him through the rest of the checkpoints, none of which were so strange as the wall, to his relief. And then the complex stood before him.

Glass walls gleamed in the sunlight, reflecting off the white lab coats and simple clothing of those around them. "No one wears their robes here. They're far too constricting," the man at his side explained. Witches and wizards entered and exited the circular room through glass doors that surrounded the entire expanse. "The walls are made of reinforced glass mirrors, all of which are one way. We can see out of the compound and many rooms and wards, but no one can see in. This here is the main hall. From here you can get to anywhere else. To find yourself back here, though, is quite a bit harder." He pointed to a front desk where an elderly lady sat. In front of her was a... "Computer," Potter offered. "A muggle device which has proved rather useful. Its uses will be explained during your training.

"But come now, you must be tired. Let me show you to your room." As Severus allowed the other to lead him away he couldn't help but contemplate what he had gotten himself into.

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**TBC...**

**A/N: Alright, I hope I haven't confused you all by now. This turned out as coherent as I could make while still following my "let's make the wizarding world more futurish" plan. I tried to keep everything believable, but different. The wizards were forced to make some changes with the new war, and I hoped to emphasize that here by creating a magical world that relies somewhat on muggle ideas.**

**I know Harry is quite a bit changed now. That's what I intended him to be. He may be OOC, and I think I was kinda aiming for a bit of OOCness. He's had to grow up a lot since OOTP.**

**_Tempus Fugit_- Time is fugitive.**

**Don't forget to review!**


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